The Meg (2018)

Over the past few weeks as I have spent more time building up the Ringmaster’s Realms vintage toy store, I have found myself watching more movies as I get things ready for either the online store or the Too Groovy Toy Show in May. Of course, as usual, my selections have been uneven. That is definitely the case with this one, the 2018 entry The Meg.

Plot/ Five years ago, expert sea diver and Naval Captain Jonas Taylor encountered an unknown danger in the unexplored recesses of the Mariana Trench that forced him to abort his mission and abandon half his crew. Though the tragic incident earned him a dishonorable discharge, what ultimately cost him his career, his marriage and any semblance of honor was his unsupported and incredulous claims of what caused it - an attack on his vessel by a mammoth, 70-foot sea creature, believed to be extinct for more than a million years.

After sitting through this one the other day, I can say that my decision to wait on it was completely justified. There really is nothing in this one that makes it worth watching (unless you have a quest to watch every shark themed movie ever made). This one is bad, honestly, I have very little to say that could make it any better. The performances are uneven to be kind, the CGI is terrible, the plot is predictable and completely laughable, and the dialog is bad. It really came across as more of a shark themed chick flick than anything else. In the end, I wish that there was something more positive to say about this one, as I really wanted to like it, but honestly, it is not worth your time. Stay far away!

Sharkenstein (2016)

After finishing American Crime Story: The People Vs. OJ Simpson, I decided to jump back into some low budget horror tonight before diving back into AHS: Hotel. After doing that though, I quickly realized I made a mistake with my selection: 2016s Sharkenstein.

Plot/ In the final days of World War II, a secret experiment to weaponize sharks is shut down and destroyed by the Third Reich. But now 60 years later, a bloodthirsty, mysterious creature plagues a small ocean town, one built and reanimated using parts of the greatest killers to ever inhabit in the sea - the Sharkenstein monster!

While I expected this one to be bad, a small part of me held out hope that I was wrong. Unfortunately, my instincts were right, and this one quickly landed on the list as one of the worst films I have seen in some time. Actually, I would rate it beneath the presidential debates (which could be taken as horror/comedies from a certain perspective). There is really nothing redeemable in this film. The special effects range from bad to worse, the CGI horrible (I know it is an effect, but it is THAT bad), the scripting is flat, and the overall quality is just not there. Yes, I am a fan of no-budget horror, but this has nothing that I could immerse myself into to make it worthwhile. In the end, this is one of the worst shark films that I have seen, and would even be bad for a SyFy Channel original. Stay away, it is really not worth the 73 minutes that I took to watch it. However, if you do want to see something that is a true piece of independent horror cinema, check out THIS video from Project Veritas. 

Jaws 2 (1978)

Sequels are always difficult to venture into. While some exist that at least match the quality of the source material, most fall flat. Of course, this is usually the case when Hollywood is more concerned about money than originality. In my next review, I cover a sequel that was clearly more about money than an original concept: Jaws 2.

Plot/ Police chief Brody must protect the citizens of Amity after a second monstrous shark begins terrorizing the waters.

In many ways, this movie was doomed from the start. Think about it, no matter how good it was, there would be no way for it to live up to the bar set by the classic Jaws. Now, that does not make it a bad movie, but it does hamper its ability to stand on its own and capture the audience in the same way that the original. While there are some positives with decent performances, the awesome soundtrack, and some outstanding technical aspects, the overall atmosphere did not match the tension of the first. Add on the lack of memorable characters, an uneven storyline, and a predictable premise, and it is easy to why this one did not live up to the expectations set by the timeless Jaws. In the end, this is a perfect example of a movie franchise that did not need to add any sequels to secure its legacy in cinematic lore. Is this a bad movie? No, it really isn’t, but there is no way that it could have ever matched the depth or powerful impression left by the original. If you are in the mood for a shark movie, give it a shot, if not, watch the original; it has more bite.