Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

To kick off the holiday season, I ventured out to the NARO Cinema for a treat and as always they delivered. My evening adventure took me to the 2010 cult holiday classic Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale. 

Plot: In the depths of the Korvatunturi mountains, 486 meters deep, lies the closest ever guarded secret of Christmas. The time has come to dig it up. This Christmas everyone will believe in Santa Claus.

I have no idea why I waited so long to watch this one. While it may not be a true horror movie with blood and gore, it is an interesting tale that is extremely entertaining. Yes, the subtitles and cross-language dialog may turn some people off, but it is unique and is quite a journey. The atmosphere is solid and the performances are good. Most of all, the interwoven folklore elements are tremendous and even the comedic elements work. Sure, a couple jump scare attempts fall flat and the premise is a bit off, but overall this one is worth watching. In the end, this movie is a must for the Christmas season and a movie that should be seen. 

Thanksgiving (2023)

It's not often that I look forward to watching a slasher film.  Don't get me wrong,  I absolutely love them.  Unfortunately,  most modern entries are nothing compared to the ones I grew up with.  But that was different,  A son as I saw that 2023s Thanksgiving was streaming, I had to watch it.  

Plot: An axe-wielding maniac terrorises residents of Plymouth, Massachusetts, after a Black Friday riot ends in tragedy. Picking off victims one by one, the seemingly random revenge killings soon become part of a larger, sinister plan.

Wow, this one was se much fun to watch.  While I'm sure that it will fall into the love it or hate it arena,  I hope more love it.  This one has everything you need to take a modern journey into the world of the classic slasher genre with an entertaining story,  over-the- top kills, and some really good effects.  Did,  since of it was headscratching, there were some holes in the story,  and I found it sonewhat predictable, but that did nothing to take away from the overall feel and experience. In the end,  this was a great watch and I'm actually hoping there is a sequel.  It is a holiday classic that with his become part of our Thanksgiving traditions. 

Krampus (2015)

As I continue to count down the days until Christmas, I decided to continue with some holiday horror. After some searching, I settled on the 2015 entry, Krampus.

Plot: While the holiday season represents the most magical time of year, ancient European folklore warns of Krampus, a horned beast who punishes naughty children at Christmastime. When dysfunctional family squabbling causes young Max to lose his festive spirit, it unleashes the wrath of the fearsome demon.

I was actually pleasantly surprised by this one.  Is it perfect? No,  it does have some slow moments (especially in the middle), but this one is much better than many of the other Krampus films that are out there.  This horror conduct has a nice mixture of those elements along with some solid performances,  decent effects,  and a nice array of creatures. In the end, this one is worth watching and perfect for this holiday season.  

A Christmas Horror Story (2015)

There is nothing like kicking back and having a scary movie night, especially when I do not have to get up for work in the morning. With that being said, it is also an awesome treat when I can find something holiday related, and that was the case tonight, as I decided on the 2015 Christmas themed anthology, A Christmas Horror Story.

Plot/ Interwoven stories that take place on Christmas Eve, as told by one festive radio host: A family brings home more than a Christmas tree, a student documentary becomes a living nightmare, a Christmas spirit terrorizes, Santa slays evil.

There is nothing better than horror movies centered in and on the Christmas holiday. Personally, I love watching some good horror this time of year, especially because I have some time off work and time to spend diving into some projects. This one is much better than I expected with just enough blood and gut splattered in with the four stories to make it fun. Plus, it has William Shatner playing a drunken radio host, what could be better. Yes, some of the dialog is awkward and the acting is uneven, but that does not truly destroy this one in any way. In the end, this may not be the best of the genre, but it is a decently intertwined anthology that makes for a solid Christmas horror flock. If you are in the mood for something darker this Christmas, give it a shot.

Saint Nick (2010)

 

 

I am all for the holidays, especially when I have some time away from work to settle into watching some decent horror flicks to help pass the evenings. Of course, it does help when I am able to find something enjoyable and entertaining. With that in my mind, I decided to venture into the depths of some holiday horror, with my selection Saint Nick (AKA Sint) from 2010.

 

 

Plot/ A horror film that depicts St. Nicholas as a murderous bishop who kidnaps and murders children when there is a full moon on December 5.

 

 

  

When I saw this one, I had to watch it. Yes, I figured that there would be some dialogue flaws with the conversion, and I was right, but that is just a minor flaw in what turned out to be a flaw-filled endeavor. It is unfortunate, as the movie started out decent enough and at least gave the notion of some promise. I really liked the idea, and was disappointed that the film was not better. The dubbed dialogue was terrible, acting was uneven to bad, the effects poor and editing took something away from the feel. Sure, there was some comedic moments and even some entertaining elements, but too much of it disjointed. In the end, this did deliver at least a small amount of holiday horror. While I would not recommend this highly, I have seen worst movies in this genre and would at least give it a shot if your holiday cabinet is empty. 

 

Yard Sale Finds of the Week - Halloween Edition

I love searching estate sales, yard sales and flea markets for new items to put into my collection of horror related items and creepy curiosities, not to mention they are a great location to find items for my online ETSY store. This weekend, I was lucky enough to find some great vintage Halloween items (some in mutiples) and Ben Cooper Costumes, making them somewhat easier to part with if I decide. With only 21 days until the greatest holiday ever, who knows what I will decide.

The Midnight Horror Collection - Backwoods Butchers

After viewing all four movies on this set, I am honestly not sure if it was definitely worth the $5.00 I spent on it at WalMart. There are actually more down moments and more losers than there are winners in this set. I did like the fact that most of the movies featured a similar theme to group the films together, but that is about it. Sure, the movies help pass some time, but I think I would pass if I were selecting a DVD today. The best films on the Backwoods Butchers Collection are:

BreadCrumbs

and in a stretch A Bothered Conscience

Mother's Day Massacre (2007)

After a trip down memory lane with a low-budget creature feature, I decided to jump forward a few decades with something closer to home based here in New Jersey. From the Backwoods Butchers Collection it was Mother’s Day Massacre from 2007.

Plot/ Jim Cavanaugh is a shy suburban New Jersey teenager. His mom left when he was a child and his father is an ass. The unrelenting psychotic domination of his redneck dad forces Jim to search out his long lost mother. His quest takes him to the backwoods of Jersey where he encounters semi-retarded hillbillies who have a taste for DIY circumcisions and Peterbilt trucks. Nobody escapes the bloodletting in this heartwarming tale of a family reunited.

I am glad that I was not expecting much, because I got less than that. This 77 minute flick is bad, really bad. The only thing that kept me a lit bit interested was the fact that it dealt with the Pine Barrens and the freaks that are rumored to call that beautiful land home. The direct, script and pacing just seem to plod along in an incoherent way. The acting is uneven, the characters unbelievable, the soundtrack off and there is a total lack of atmosphere or tension. I really cannot figure out if they were trying to make a comedy or not with some of the perverse humor or over-the-top violent outbursts the pop up from time-to-time. While I will not watch this one again, I at least laughed a little. This strange and almost pointless flick is really not worth watching unless you have nothing else to choose from.

Dead End (2003)

As the countdown to Santa’s arrival nears, I was searching for something to watch. That is when I stumbled upon, the 2003 semi-holiday horror flick Dead End.

Plot/ For the past 20 years, Frank Harrington has grudgingly driven his family to celebrate Christmas with his mother-in-law. This year, he takes a shortcut. It's the biggest mistake of his life: The nightmare begins. A mysterious woman in white wanders through the forest, leaving death in her wake. A terrifying black car - its driver invisible - carries the victims into the heart of the night. Every road sign points to a destination they never reach. The survivors succumb to panic, to madness; deeply buried secrets burst to the surface, and Christmas turns into a living hell.

I was extremely surprised by this flick. It was really an excellent example of what can be done with a low budget. The directors proved that with a minimalist concept of great story, solid small cast and a few locations, a great movie can be created. This movie excels by mixing a stripped down instrumental soundtrack with a claustrophobic aura that creates a paranoid atmosphere that drives everything. Throw in a script that has just enough comedic and sarcastic moments, and you have a winner. This is definitely a MUST see and a holiday horror that often gets overlooked

Tales from the Crypt (1972)

With the Steelers game on last night, it was not until late in the evening that I could relax and decide on another holiday horror classic. After some searching, I decided on the 1972 Amicus entry Tales from the Crypt.

Plot/ Five people are trapped in a crypt and are shown their futures by the evil cryptkeeper. They are given the option of avoiding their fates - by avoiding living out the rest of their lives.

This may be the best adaptation of the once controversial comic book, taking each of these stories directly from the pages. These tales are definitely a combination of the strange, terrifying and often baffling elements that seem to come out and perplex people. The script was solid, the cinematography was good and the atmosphere was tremendous. More importantly, the acting, which featured a cast with the likes of Peter Cushing, Joan Collins, Patrick Magee and Sir Ralph Richardson as the crypt keeper was very believable. In all, this is a fantastic piece of 1970s British Horror and one that make perfect viewing during the holiday season.

Black Christmas (1974)

After taking a night away from the computer to work on some Christmas items, it was back at it with the Bob Clark forgotten classic Black Christmas from 1974!

Plot/ A sorority house is terrorized by a stranger who makes frightening phone calls and then murders the sorority sisters during Christmas break.

This is a true horror classic! To me, it is clearly one of the biggest influences of the slasher genre and a film that helped shaped horror as we know it today. The atmosphere created does a masterful job of carrying a feeling of terror and dread throughout the film. Amazingly, this classic has stood the test of time, with a decent array of acting, believable plot, and a great use of sound and visual elements that really work. Truly an often overlooked masterpiece that may be the greatest holiday horror flick ever made and one that is a MUST see!

The Legend of Hell House (1973)

With Santa Claus being such a big player in my last review, I figured I would go in a slightly different way with my next movie. With that in mind, I decided to go with the 1973 classic The Legend of Hell House for tonight’s entry.

Plot/ A team consisting of a physicist, his wife, a young female psychic and the only survivor of the previous visit are sent to the notorious Hell House to prove/disprove survival after death. Previous visitors have either been killed or gone mad, and it is up to the team to survive a full week in isolation, and solve the mystery of the Hell House.

Sure, this is not the perfect selection as a holiday horror flick, but hey, the timeline works. Plus, this is a classic tale of gothic horror which may truly be one of the best haunted house movies ever made. This film cries atmosphere, and is backed up by a tremendous soundtrack that supports the creepiness throughout the story. The acting is sound and very believable, something that gives the simple story a life of its own. Incredibly, there are almost no special effects, however, in this case it is a plus, adding to the tension throughout the flick. In the end, this remains one of the greatest supernatural / haunted house movies ever made and a must see.

Santa's Slay (2005)

With Christmas a mere week away, I figured it was the perfect time to enjoy some of the great holiday related horror flicks that have come to light over the years. My first entry, the 2005 Satanic Santa romp, Santa’s Slay.

Plot/ Iconic wrestler Bill Goldberg plays the devil's son who lost a wager with a angel and was forced to spend 1000 years playing Santa, but now the wager of that time has run out, and good old Santa isn't so joyful anymore. He makes up for lost time and starts to kill people.

Luckily, I did not go into this movie expecting anything, especially not a rational plot, good acting, or even credible special effects. However, I must say what I found was quite enjoyable on some absurd level. It does have some decent characters, some hilarious moments and Goldberg actually does a decent rendition of what an evil Santa should be. Ironically, there are some very creative kills, with Santa finding the oddest way of killing people throughout the flick (especially during the opening star-studded scene which had me rolling before the first ounce of blood had fallen). Unfortunately, to me, there is not enough gore to coincide with the amount of death and destruction, which would have definitely taken it to another level. Honestly, two Immaculate Conceptions, one Jesus and one Santa Claus, who needs more? If you are looking for a friendly, family-oriented Christmas movie, stay clear of this carnage-filled holiday massacre.

Silent NIght, Bloody Night (1974)

At last, I finished the Cult Horror Collection by watching the last installment, Silent Night, Bloody Night from 1974.

Plot / Folks trying to sell an isolated New England mansion, with a dark history, are being stalked and killed by an escaped maniac. However, who is this deranged murderer and why do the local townspeople act so strange?

This may be one of the most underrated films in the genre. Yes, it is far from perfect. The cinematography is below average to say the least, the narrated portions were not needed, some of it is a bit slow and the plot was not developed to its fullest potential. However, the atmosphere is awesome, the odd plot is very deep and complex, the flashback sequences are wonderful and the character development is something that many films of the age lacked. In all, a very unnerving flick that definitely helped shape a genre and a joy to watch.