Tom Holland's Twisted Tales (2013)

When I returned Mr. Jones the other night, I had a film jump off the shelf and catch my attention. While I should know not to rush into flicks based on packaging, this one felt different. That film was 2013s Tom Holland's Twisted Tales.

Plot/ Tom Holland's Twisted Tales was a web series hosted by our friends over at FearNet. There are nine short films, all written and directed by Tom Holland that cover a myriad of topics as only he could envision.

One of the biggest miseries I have had since moving from New Jersey is living without FearNet. Yes, I could watch it on my computer, but I am usually working on something. When I saw this DVD on the shelf, I had mixed emotions. As with any anthology, especially ones made specifically for the web, I knew there would be quality issues because of their lower budgets. I was right! While there were some interesting pieces, there was a wide range from best to the worst in the series. There were also some acting flaws, pacing flaws and too many clichéd moments for me to love it. Yes, there were some entertaining and good moments in this, but for the average horror fan, it would not be enough to keep them enthralled for the entire 146 minute run time (something that should have been cut down if it were me). In the end, this would likely have been better for me to watch as they were originally intended on the web and one at a time. While it is not terrible, there was truly nothing new and it was a bit of a disappointment.

I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)

 

 

As the dreary day turned to night, and everyone seemed to venture off to sleep, I was left having to find something to watch. Being limited to FearNet or possibly a few DVDs, my choices were limited. After some debate with the voices in my head, I decided that it was time to venture deep into another one of those 1990s horror / slasher series (not that I really wanted to), with I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.

 

 

Plot/ The murderous fisherman with a hook is back to once again stalk the two surviving teens, Julie and Ray, who left him for dead, as well as cause even more murder and mayhem, this time at a posh island resort.

 

 

Now that I have finally sat down and watched this monstrosity of a sequel, I now realize why I had not suffered through it earlier. Sure, I may be a bit skewed, as I really did not like the original. Yes, it was OK, but it did not do anything for me. Having watched this one, I can say that the original was at least entertaining. This one offers even less, and is much more predictable than the first one. Honestly, nothing makes much sense, the acting is so-so, and the characters do nothing for the overall feel. In the end, I am glad I watched this free, had I wasted money on it, I would be even more upset. Unless you have nothing else to watch, stay far away.

Ghosts of Mars (2001)

 

 

Today was an extremely dreary day here in Chesapeake, the rain and even thunderstorms made it seem to drag on. With nothing much to do, I decided to find something to watch that would not only fit in to my likes, but also help pass some time. What did I decide on?  I went back to the beginning of the century, and the 2001 Sci-Fi / Horror flick, Ghosts of Mars.

 

 

Plot/ 200 years in the future, a Martian police unit is dispatched to transport a dangerous prisoner from a mining outpost back to justice. However, when the team arrives they find the town deserted and some of the inhabitants possessed by the former inhabitants of the planet.

 

 

When I out this on today, I had no idea on what it would be like or what to expect. Unfortunately, what I found was no what I had hoped for. Sure, it was entertaining, but it could have been a lot better.  The acting was decent, but the characterization, scripting, and the overall feel and atmosphere just did not work. Of course, as some say, John Carpenter movies are an acquired taste, and for the most part, I agree. However, even after some time, this one did not grow on me. In the end, it is somewhat entertaining, and will help pass some time on a dreary day, but it is nothing special.

 

Laid to Rest (2009)

 

 

There is nothing like a mindless gorefest to liven a dreary day. Leaving Pennsylvania and heading to North Carolina (via Virginia), one could hope for sunshine at the beach. Unfortunately, it is more gray skies and rain. To try to liven the day, I decided on the indie flick Laid to Rest for my viewing pleasure.

 

 

Plot/ A terrifying story of a young girl who wakes up in a casket with a traumatic head injury and no memory of her identity. She quickly realizes she was abducted by a Deranged Serial Murderer and in an isolated rural town she must survive the night and outsmart the technologically inclined killer who is hell-bent on finishing what he started.

 

 

You know when you watch a movie because you are in the mood for something mindless with blood and guts; well I found the flick for you. After watching this one, the blood, guts and gore quickly come out along with some of the better kill scenes in some time. Sure it has some uneven acting, some strange twists and there is very little character development, but that is to be expected. What was really bad was the scripting, some of that just made no sense and at times actually detracted from the overall feel. In the end, if you are looking for a mindless gorefest, this one is for you. Check it out!

 

 

Offspring (2009)

After spending the past few weeks in either killer doll or vampires, I decided that it was time for something different. So when I was searching FearNet and found Offspring, about flesh eating feral children, I was all in. Could there be a better change of pace?

Plot/ Offspring based on the book by Jack Ketchum tells the story of a young group of Feral Children who somehow manage to hide in caves and avoid detection while making dinner of locals in various towns as they move from town to town on the coast. After a run in with the flesh-eaters, two women strive to survive their abduction by the cannibals and save their children.

There is a lot to like about this movie. Yes, the storyline isn't the greatest, but there is something there that really made it interesting. To be honest, I have never read a Jack Ketchum novel, and after seeing this, I may want to. The acting, direction and cinematography were excellant, with a definite feel throughout, especially with the amount of violence depicted. The killers, the flesh-eating "offspring" are tremendous, and really come across well with the amount of pain, terror and carnage they inflict throughout the film. In many ways, I wish some of the other movies with similar storylines.

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Servants of Twilight (1991)

After spending most of the past couple of days dealing with a family medical issue, it was nice to get back to something interesting; diving into a late-night movie on FearNet. My evening selection was the 1991 adaption of Dean Kootz's Servants of Twilight, a book I read more than a few yars ago and a subject that always makes me smile.

Plot/ Based on the novel by Dean R. Koontz, this action packed thriller features Bruce Greenwood as a private detective hired to protect a little boy from a fanatical religious cult that believe he is the antichrist fortold in the book of Revelations.

Having read the book years ago, I was pleasantly surprised by the movie. Yes, it does vary from the original literary workm but it does work and is a pretty good thriller (although, I may be biased because I love movie that deal with the antichrist). In all, I would have loved to have seen the movie done with a larger budget, the material is definitely better than the cash spent (which is usually the case with movies based on Koontz's work). That being said, there are some great moments that are tense and draw you in. The script, acting and cinematography are solid and the movie comes off decently for an adaptation. It makes a great addition to any horror collection and is a especially worth watching for free on FearNet.

April Fool's Day (2008)

After some debate, I decided to venture down the 2008 path once again. This time I chose April Fool's Day (2008), mostly because it seemed like a safe choice with my kids running around the house and a lower rating. While I am all for allowing my daughters to watch horror movies with me, and actually take pride in the fact that they can all name the killers from the classic slashers at ages 5 and 7, they are starting to become more aware of some of the aspects of films that may be a bit too much.

Plot/ In the débutant ball of the socialite Torrance Caldwell on April, 1st 2007, the millionaire Desiree Cartier dilutes a powerful drug in the champagne of her acquaintance, Milan Hastings, and her brother, Blaine Cartier, takes advantage of Milan. Desiree tapes the situation with a camcorder while her friends Torrance, Barbie and Peter Welling, Charles Lansford and Ryan snoop. However, Milan has a seizure and falls off the balcony immediately dying. The group goes to court, Blaine looses the control of the family's fortune which shifts to Desiree, but they are considered innocents and the death of Milan is considered a fatal prank. One year later, each one of them receive a letter mustering them up to Milan's grave. While gathered in the cemetery, they receive a package telling that each one of them will die until the person responsible for the death of Milan owns up. The new "April Fool's Day" revolves around a party given by two rich siblings for their friend. Tragedy strikes when a friend falls over a balcony and dies. One year later, the teens responsible for the accident become the targets of a twisted killer who begins hunting them down one by one.

This movie was definitely more of I Know What You Did Last Summer than April Fool's Day, a relief because I actually liked the original version. While not great, it definitey hit the arena they were searching for with the TV-14 rating. With that rating in mind, the death scenes are pretty tame, focussing more on the metal approach than actual gore. They were actually rather funny at times. The movie was definitely low key and children friendly, as it lacked gore, suspense, nudity and scares, making it a great afternoon flick for me to enjoy with my three daughters. The acting, directing and cinematography are choppy throughout and the storyline is rather predictable. All-in-all it could have been much better. In the end, if you are looking for something to watch with your kids as you draw them into the realm of horror movies, this is a geat choice. However, if you are searching for a serious remake of April Fool's Day or are craving a serious horror film, STAY AWAY!

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Dracula's Guest (2008)

Sitting here tonight, I felt it was time to start winding my way back to the vampire genre (I would like to finish that Undead Collection someday). To do so, I put on Dracula's Guest on FearNet. As a fan of Stoker and a reader of many of his works, the idea of the filmed seemed interesting at first glance. However, I soon realized that my streak of terrible movies from the year 2008 was destined to continue.

Plot/ Bram Stoker has fallen in love with his girl friend Elizabeth but he is denied the opportunity to propose to her by her father, Admiral Murray. Elizabeth is heart broken and flees London only to be abducted by Count Dracula who keeps her hostage in his castle in Transylvania. Count Dracula knows that this will draw Bram Stoker to him as Bram will be compelled to rescue Elizabeth. Count Dracula's plan is to trap Bram Stoker and settle an old dispute among the two families.

Luckily for me, when I started watching this tonight, I did so without any expectations and guess what, that was a good idea. Not only did this movie ruin any expectations, it again made me realize why period horror movies are so difficult to film. The plot and idea was actually decent as I really liked the way the Stoker stories were drawn together. However, that is about where the positive aspects stop. The movies was ruined by poor acting, terrible effects and just a terrible vision and understanding of the genre. Out of all of the low points, Dracula's character was the worst. Played by Andrew Bryniarski (Leatherface in Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning), it is clear that the role was much more than he could chew as his accent was awful and the fangs were so unbelievable that they looked like they were straight out of a bargain Halloween store. To be honest, at times I thought I was watching a local theatre company's first attempt at a movie, it was THAT bad!

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Seventh Moon (2008)

While searching through the horror section of free movies on my Comcast onDemand service, I was excited to see Seventh Moon available. I had seen the cover at the store and in the Red Box and it always looked interesting. So, without hesitation, I put it on and let my journey into the undead lore begin.

Plot/ Melissa and Yul, Americans honeymooning in China, come across the exotic 'Hungry Ghost' festival. When night falls, the couple end up in a remote village, and soon realize the legend is all too real. Plunged into an ancient custom they cannot comprehend, the couple must find a way to survive the night of the

Seventh Moon.

Directed by Eduardo Sánchez (of Blair Witch Project fame), the idea behind the story and the story itself (while pretty common) was decent and enough to draw me in. The acting wasn't and the overall look was much better than some of the material that is hitting the shelves today. However, that is about as much praise as I can give. The cinematography, especially with many of the scenes being shot with very low light, really took something away from this film with the shakiness. While, I am not a fan of the "shaky cam" phenomenon, I do see it as a viable technique in certain situations and scenes. Not this one though, especially with the terrible lighting that I already mentioned. In all, I felt it was a good idea, but the execution was far from perfect. It was definitely a movie I waited to see when it was free, if I had paid for it, I might be more upset!

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